However, lately, as my horoscope suggests... Don't laugh, but - yes! - I do have a semi-serious interest in astrology and believe that there is something to it, and while I don't use my amateur studying of astrology to dictate my life's course, I do use it more as a reaffirmation of the course that I am already on...
Anyway, as I was saying, my horoscope (Taurus ~ just in case you were wondering) has been suggesting that this is a good time for me to engage in creative pursuits, that "my planets are in alignment" and my creative window is wide open! Ha ha! How ironic! I have been wanting to start some form of journal writing, though I didn't think it would be in the form of a public blog... but why not? Something new to try! AND I have had some inspirations for new piano pieces brewing in the back of my mind for the past month or two and have been aching to sit at a piano, uninterrupted, and see what melodies come forth...
Well, now that Simon is back in school, I am able to intentionally set aside some time to focus on these two creative outlets. However, that means that I will not be taking any classes this semester at the Junior College or taking on any substitute teaching jobs. Honestly, after the list of personal challenges that I have encountered the past year or two...
~ divorce and bankruptcy and all that they encompass
~ grieving of the passing of a couple of very dear friends in the spring
~ the building up of and then letting go of a significant (to me) love relationship
and this is all in addition to my usual daily calling as a devoted, full time mother to my sweet Simon and Director of Music at my church...
... well, it would seem that I have had several "pots on the stove" all simmering at the same time... though, thankfully, none really bubbled over!
So, after spending several months stirring all of these "pots", this girl's poor arm is tired! But I didn't realize just how tired I was until I spent some precious time in sessions with my spiritual director over the past several weeks. Through personal prayer, gently guided contemplation and mindful listening to my inner-voice I have decided that it's time - and necessary - to ALLOW myself to turn off a few of the "burners" and put the lids back on the pots... better yet, wash them and put them away! And then give myself permission to intentionally take some time to adjust to my "new" life of sorts - reinventing myself while, at the same time, returning to my former self - the "Self" who poured her soul into writing and playing music in college, who took time to nurture her spirit, nurture her friendships, find pleasure in her many passions - or would it be finding her passion in her many pleasures? Really, if nothing else, getting older has taught me - or rather - reminded me that life is finite... we only get one shot at this and we should try to make it good!
So, for the time being, my primary focus will be on mothering my son, "working" at my day job at my church ... AND I will also be purposefully setting aside one day a week to be my "Sacred Day"- a day where I can write music, write for my blog, quietly enjoy a latte while reading a book, plan a much needed, but probably long overdue, visit with a friend... basically allowing myself to do whatever it is that rejuvenates my spirit, brings me closer to my purpose for living in this life time - during these times - and among all who have been put on my life's path with me ... and if I encounter another chance at a love relationship along the way - even better! After all, I believe that life's journey is too amazing to not want to share it with another person - the right person, right?
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