I realize that I am not obligated to write and publish my blogs on a specific schedule - after all I am not Carrie Bradshaw and I don't have a weekly "deadline" to meet at Vogue! But lately I have found myself mentally "blogging" throughout the day, internally composing my thoughts about what is happening in the world around me and in my own life. Those of you that know me well will not be surprised to learn that I tend to analyze and over-analyze everything under the sun! (I can sense you are smiling and nodding your head in agreement!) In the past year or so I have encountered some challenges and significant life changes, ones that I have had to analyze carefully, knowing that every decision I made would not only affect me, but my son as well. Thankfully, the changes have all been very positive and reaffirming even if I might have doubted myself - or my judgement - in the process...
However, despite the various challenges and changes I have encountered throughout my life, music has always been a constant ... a grounding presence... a saving grace of sorts! My mom told me that when I was a baby she would turn on the KABL radio station at bedtime and I would be lulled to sleep with various 1970's easy listening and jazz standards like the Carpenters, Barbara Streisand, "Old Blue Eyes", etc. Then while in grade school I remember eagerly participating in school concerts and Christmas programs. I remember that sometimes during long car rides, after my brothers had fallen asleep, I would lean my head against the door and I would sing quietly to myself the songs I had learned. And it wasn't until I was taking music courses at the SRJC that I discovered I had the ability to compose music - a whole new concept to me and one that influenced my decision to switch my major from Liberal Studies/Education to Music midway through my first semester at Sonoma State University. But, my earliest recollection of how much music touched my life was in teaching myself to play the piano as a young child...
While growing up I was blessed to always have a piano in my home - my mother played a little, though primarily for her own enjoyment. I was told that as a toddler I would stand at the piano, reach for and play the various keys. Perhaps I was just innocently intrigued by the sounds coming from this large brown wooden thing taking up a large portion of my living room - a Kimball spinet piano - the instrument that would become a significant part of my young life - but, even as a toddler, it seemed that I was hooked!
(this is not my piano, but something very similar to what I had while growing up)
One Christmas, when I was around 6 years old, Santa left a small plastic, battery-operated, toy piano under the Christmas tree for me - something similar to what is pictured here...
and if my 41-year old memory serves me well, I think that my "plastic piano" was orange on the bottom and had a keyboard of about two octaves (about 30 keys, including the black ones). I don't recall mine having the rainbow keys, but I remember that it did come with sheet music that used some sort of number/color-coded system that corresponded with the color/number stickers on the keys. I remember that it had a soft, airy "hum" that whirred while it was turned on and there seemed to be a slight delay in the sound that was produced by pushing any given key. One of the first songs that I learned to play using this number/color code system was "Silent Night." I remember learning it with my left hand and the tune started out "6-7-6-4" (si - i - lent night) ... and it has become my most cherished Christmas carol!
I eventually learned to play the other "color-coded repertoire" that accompanied that little plastic piano and soon discovered that I could play those same tunes on the REAL piano after matching up the black and white key patterns. Or perhaps - the most logical reason - was that the batteries in my plastic piano finally died and I had no other choice but to play our "REAL" piano if I wanted to continue making music! I honestly don't remember how I made the 'switch' but eventually that little plastic toy piano was retired, and to where I am not exactly sure?
I did not take piano lessons as a child, they were expensive and I was being raised by my amazing single-mother who worked full time and still struggled to keep the bills paid and food on the table. So, even though it was a slow process, I would basically sit at our piano, slowly learning and memorizing note by note, measure by measure, song by song, gradually building my skills and gaining confidence in my abilities.
After giving it some thought, I wonder if I would be as passionate as I am about playing the piano - and music in general - if I was given the opportunity to take lessons? I mean, if I was made to practice day after day, forced to perform in recitals and be subjected to the demands of a piano instructor - would I be where I am today musically? In a way I am sort of grateful that I will never be able to find out! Blessedly, I was allowed - if not altogether encouraged - to come to the piano on my own, exploring and discovering my instrument at my own pace and in my own way!
I truly believe that if you can envision something in your mind, you can make it happen - even if it isn't your primary intention! I say this because I remember (as a child) sitting at the piano in my living room sometimes and there would be one else around, but in my mind I was playing in front of an imaginary "audience"... You know how some children have imaginary friends? Well, I had "imaginary audiences" and I would perform the same song over and over again for them. So, in looking back at that time in my life, I find it rather amazing (or ironic?) that my "imaginary audience" has, in fact, become a church congregation that I am blessed to play for three to four times any given weekend - my childhood fantasy has become a reality of sorts! And you can be certain that at every Christmas Mass I will be playing "Silent Night" during communion - it has become a personal tradition of mine - and thank God I do not have to play it on a small, battery-operated, plastic toy piano!!
No comments:
Post a Comment